somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow

*Opens Notepad because the input window for WordPress is too small*

*then switches to Word because Notepad fails as well*

…then I noticed the small drag thinger in the corner of the input window. WOW I feel stupid. *moves back to WordPress*

Anyway. So, you might be wondering what this “1st anniversary” crap is. Well, approximately a year ago, I (would like to say I*) started (really) watching anime and reading manga. It seems like such a long time ago when I was sitting watching Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann with my brother (start it with a BANG, right?).

I started reading manga like a crazy person, staying up until the wee hours of the morning so I could finish chapters.

I started keeping track of what I read and watched on myanimelist.net.

I watched the epics like Haruhi, Lucky Star and everything by Key (notice the KyoAni fanboy-ness going on here).

I made a pilgrimage to Mecca visited Japan and went to Akiba, spending an obscene amount of money. (Actually my brother spent more, but it was a lot to me D:)

I made a blog after my friends got sick of me posting random blurbs about anime on Facebook. (But this blog is still synced to my Notes on Facebook…)

*The thing is, is that it’s not like I hadn’t seen anime and manga before this event. It’s just that this event sparked a forest fire of otaku-ness.

…

So I guess it’s a good time to stop a reflect. After all, it’s New Years and my 1st psuedo-anniversary as an otaku. (and I’m following the general trend of anime bloggers posting very retrospective posts)

Though I sometimes feel that a lot of time has passed, I don’t feel like I’ve matured at all. Not as a person, or as an otaku. This may be because there seem to be so many better, more intelligent and more insightful people out there, but it still hasn’t come yet. Actually, it probably is because of all these insightful posts I’ve been reading lately. Stuff like this, this and this really make a person think. Or for me, make him feel really shallow. No offense meant to the authors at all, as I guess I did have a pretty fragile ego to begin with (first post much?).

Well, if you’re expecting anything long or insightful, I won’t provide it. To tell you the truth, (whenever I say that phrase, I think of A Catcher in the Rye. I wonder why…) I never really liked reflecting on things. Never liked looking at the big picture, never liked looking to the future. I can give myself goals, but writing down a goal is, for me, almost like saying I’ll never do it. On an Evangelion scale, I’d say I rate about episode 1 Shinji: afraid of the future, afraid of responsibility, and so on and so forth.

But, to end on an optimistic note, I guess this just means I have a lot to learn. A lot of space to grow, and a lot of maturing to do. I am sorta already regretting making an anime blog: I don’t know if I’m really up to the task. I just write on the spur of the moment, a sporatic and irratic person who just goes into teenage angst.

But, is there a true “prerequisite” to blogging at all? Is there anything needed besides a wanting to be heard? (if you looked at my blog, you’d get the impression of “no, there isn’t”.)

…It seems like I’m talking to myself now. I guess I’ll stop. I might continue this some other time, if I feel up to the task of prying myself open some more.

Note: I think I overused the parentheses, didn’t I. Maybe I just have a lot to say, but I don’t think half of it is important.

Note: I probably conveyed a message of self-doubt and teenage angst-y sorta stuff. But no, I’m not asking for comforting.

EDIT1: The refusal to proofread may have to do with the refusal to look at myself in a figurative mirror of sorts.

EDIT2: A summary – Basically, I’ve got a lot to improve on. Go figure, it’s my 4th real post on a 3-day old blog. Not much to look back on.