The Problem (?) with Blogs (at least, my problem.)
I spend a lot of my time reading anime blogs, especially more opinionated ones. Of course, I usually have my own opinion about an anime, but I read them to gain new perspectives on the anime I watch. But recently, it seems as if I just absorb those opinions into my own. My own voice seems to be lost in an avalanche of other opinions. Each thing I read shapes what I think.
So what?
This probably says something about me. I don’t really have the strongest opinions in the world, and I usually believe what I read. Does that mean I should stop reading blogs? I’d say not. This might just be a phase: confusion about what I think I believe. It’s easier to say what somebody else thinks than to formulate my own opinion (religion?). Hopefully I’ll grow out of it. Maybe it’s just part of growing up. I wouldn’t know.
I remember reading somewhere about a psychological study which showed that one person could change the opinions of a whole group just by asserting his or her opinions over and over again, by staying to it. Opinionated blog writers are sort of like that, voicing their opinions over and over again. Though, it is probably human nature to express one’s opinion. At least, to some. For the rest of us, we just listen and absorb. It’s easier than independent thought.
I’m not saying that blog should not be opinionated, or, to put it another way, bias. Humans are biased by nature; a nonbias human does not exist. That’s kinda why I think that news companies which advertise “unbias reporting” are pretty ironic. You want unbias reporting? Make a machine to do it. And even then, a person made the machine.
I’m sure there are some people out there who write their own blogs. I might even read your blog from time to time. I’m not telling you to stop writing what you think. Even if I did, it wouldn’t stop you. I could say, take a step back and thing about the effects of what you write. But I won’t. I mean, is it wrong to express one’s opinions? I’d say not. After all, what am I doing right now? I don’t really care what you think or do in response. Do whatever, really. (Please don’t burn me?)
Maybe problem isn’t the best word. Is it really a problem? Maybe this is simply a trait that makes us human: the ability to integrate outside opinions into our own. But never before has so many different opinions been available to a person. With the advent of the Internet, one can connect to so many more people, read so many more things. Is there a limit?
I don’t know. I really don’t. All I can say is, human nature is pretty flawed. Or maybe it was just fit for another time.
…
It seems like I’m giving blogs and the Internet some pretty bad rep right now. I’ll write something of the other opinion soon. Hopefully. Though it seems I’m very bad at posting these days.
A First (belated) Anniversary
*Opens Notepad because the input window for WordPress is too small*
*then switches to Word because Notepad fails as well*
…then I noticed the small drag thinger in the corner of the input window. WOW I feel stupid. *moves back to WordPress*
Anyway. So, you might be wondering what this “1st anniversary” crap is. Well, approximately a year ago, I (would like to say I*) started (really) watching anime and reading manga. It seems like such a long time ago when I was sitting watching Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann with my brother (start it with a BANG, right?).
I started reading manga like a crazy person, staying up until the wee hours of the morning so I could finish chapters.
I started keeping track of what I read and watched on myanimelist.net.
I watched the epics like Haruhi, Lucky Star and everything by Key (notice the KyoAni fanboy-ness going on here).
I made a pilgrimage to Mecca visited Japan and went to Akiba, spending an obscene amount of money. (Actually my brother spent more, but it was a lot to me D:)
I made a blog after my friends got sick of me posting random blurbs about anime on Facebook. (But this blog is still synced to my Notes on Facebook…)
*The thing is, is that it’s not like I hadn’t seen anime and manga before this event. It’s just that this event sparked a forest fire of otaku-ness.
…
So I guess it’s a good time to stop a reflect. After all, it’s New Years and my 1st psuedo-anniversary as an otaku. (and I’m following the general trend of anime bloggers posting very retrospective posts)
Though I sometimes feel that a lot of time has passed, I don’t feel like I’ve matured at all. Not as a person, or as an otaku. This may be because there seem to be so many better, more intelligent and more insightful people out there, but it still hasn’t come yet. Actually, it probably is because of all these insightful posts I’ve been reading lately. Stuff like this, this and this really make a person think. Or for me, make him feel really shallow. No offense meant to the authors at all, as I guess I did have a pretty fragile ego to begin with (first post much?).
Well, if you’re expecting anything long or insightful, I won’t provide it. To tell you the truth, (whenever I say that phrase, I think of A Catcher in the Rye. I wonder why…) I never really liked reflecting on things. Never liked looking at the big picture, never liked looking to the future. I can give myself goals, but writing down a goal is, for me, almost like saying I’ll never do it. On an Evangelion scale, I’d say I rate about episode 1 Shinji: afraid of the future, afraid of responsibility, and so on and so forth.
But, to end on an optimistic note, I guess this just means I have a lot to learn. A lot of space to grow, and a lot of maturing to do. I am sorta already regretting making an anime blog: I don’t know if I’m really up to the task. I just write on the spur of the moment, a sporatic and irratic person who just goes into teenage angst.
But, is there a true “prerequisite” to blogging at all? Is there anything needed besides a wanting to be heard? (if you looked at my blog, you’d get the impression of “no, there isn’t”.)
…It seems like I’m talking to myself now. I guess I’ll stop. I might continue this some other time, if I feel up to the task of prying myself open some more.
Note: I think I overused the parentheses, didn’t I. Maybe I just have a lot to say, but I don’t think half of it is important.
Note: I probably conveyed a message of self-doubt and teenage angst-y sorta stuff. But no, I’m not asking for comforting.
EDIT1: The refusal to proofread may have to do with the refusal to look at myself in a figurative mirror of sorts.
EDIT2: A summary – Basically, I’ve got a lot to improve on. Go figure, it’s my 4th real post on a 3-day old blog. Not much to look back on.
Let’s see…
Yo.
Wait, that’s a “very impolite way to greet somebody.”
Okay, don’t care.
Hi, I’m Derek, and this is my automated robotic introduction.
No, that won’t work either.
Wow, I’m not really getting anywhere here am I?
So, I’m Derek, and this is the first post in my blog. Hopefully not the last either. *cough* I would do some really long and drawn out introduction, but I wouldn’t know where to start, what to say, and so on.
Ugh, one thing I’m already not liking about WordPress is that it seems to be double-spaced between every line.
You see, I don’t think I like that so much, as it really isn’t my style to type in really long paragraphs.
Instead, I’d rather just type these nice short one-line thoughts, and just keep on typing without stop.
Otherwise, I’d start doubting myself, as I often do.
Also, it’s kinda a pain capitalizing the beginning of every sentence, so sorry if I don’t do that in the future.
Well, let’s get down to business.
This is probably going to turn into an anime blog.
I can see it already: “Derek’s Anime Blog: Go read about some lame thoughtless high-schooler otaku rant about random shit, or gtfo kthxbai.”
Ah, maybe not. Doesn’t bode well in my mind.
Maybe I’ll just stay with the
OH WAIT
I just discovered the shift-enter makes the lines not double spaced
OH SHIT GENIUS
But I’m too lazy to change all the lines above. *sigh*
And if, in the future, you think that my posts are thoughtless garbage, I really don’t blame you.
Because I’m trying not to think as I write. Because then I’d get nothing written.
I’m always doubting myself, thinking everything through one-too many times, and it gets to a point where I just stop and go “fuck this, time to move on with my life.”
…And now I’m just going on some really weird tangent and have no idea whatsoever where I started from.
Ah well. I’ll just post this and see what happens.
Wait, I forgot to talk about my URL.
See, my URL is an example of one of those things I think way too much about.
You could say it’s a first impression of sorts (oh, shit! I made a really bad one, didn’t I. go figure.), so I thought about.
And thought about it.
And thought about it.
And in the end, got something really lame and really corny.
No, actually, I just went “fuck this. I know I want to make a blog, but have no fucking idea what to call it.” So I went with “the true melody,” which is from the anime ef: a tale of melodies.
Big whoop.
Actually, I just watched ef. Like, an hour ago. So I’m so unoriginal, I decided to steal something from a show I really like. Yeah, you’ll probably be seeing more of that soon.
Interestingly enough, I have this same problem with any name I try to make up (I’m thinking MMORPGs right now, as that’s really the only time I made lots of names. Probably spent more time thinking of what to name my character than actually playing.)
Wait, it’s not interesting at all.
As for the blog name…
It’s probably going to be changed soon.
But, for now its “somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow,” referencing the fact that I have no fucking idea where I am in the big scheme of things, or if I’m in it at all.
Simply put, I’m lost. At life. Epic fail.
Okay, that’s enough self-reflection for the night. I kinda feel like a piece of shit now, and I don’t have a very good image of myself, so when I talk about myself, it always seems to come out to be very negative.
Well, night.
I’ll see you next time, if there is one.
